Your purpose and your path — the crucial difference.

When I was fifteen years old, I remember sitting in the kitchen with my mom, crying.

Not just crying.

Teenager crying.

You know... It's that delightful combination of sadness plus anger plus frustration all revved up with an added dose of unstable hormones.

It’s the angry, ugly cry.

My poor Mom.

She had to deal with my bottomless, existential ANGST about not knowing what I was going to do with my life.

And all my accompanying tears. I had so much panic, so much fear, and so many FEELINGS…

I went to a competitive (read: cutthroat) high school.

My fellow achievers would get a 98.5 on a quiz in AP government and then spend twenty minutes arguing with the teacher to nudge their grade up to 100.

Just breathing the same air as those students felt exhausting.

In high school, when I looked around, I felt like all my peers had PLANS for their FUTURE.

This college.

That internship.

This career.

Boom, boom, boom.

It was all lined out.

Me?

All I had was a speedball of not-super-great-feelings about the future.

Plus a hearty dose of self-doubt. When faced with my fifteen-year-old, wailing self saying...

"But what am I going to *sob* DO *sniffle* with my LIFE, mom?" *hiccup*

What my mom told me was not the answer I wanted to hear, but it was HIGHLY intuitive and incredibly wise.

She said,

“Honey. I think the thing you’re going to do hasn’t been invented yet.”

And to a certain degree, she was right on.

• Zumba hadn’t been invented yet.

• Graphic design hadn’t really started yet.

• Blogging wasn’t a thing yet.

• Emotional freedom technique was just coming into being.

• And channeling via Zoom?

Zoom was still just a verb.

But even with those kind and wise and comforting words from my Mom, I was still OBSESSED with figuring out my PURPOSE.

I wanted someone to PLEASE give me clear advice on THE THING I was SUPPOSED to be doing with my life.

So I could start doing it.

Stat.

(spoiler alert: the answer didn't come for another twenty-six years)

Y’all… not knowing my purpose irritated me like a mosquito bite on your ankle bone.

Career quizzes made me angrier and more angst-ridden.

Guidance counselors were a total joke to my cynical, teenage self.

And frankly, I didn't really know myself well enough to trust any personality tests.

I also didn't think that I could make it financially doing any of the things that interested me (dance, art, sports, basically anything non-corporate).

I felt 100% stuck.

There is a LOT of rhetoric around about:

... doing what you’re supposed to do!

... doing what you’re HERE TO DO!

... FINDING YOUR THING!

If we were to start unpacking all of those possible beliefs and feelings around that I-NEED-TO-FIND-MY-PURPOSE energy, holy shamoligans. It's a lot. And it's largely tied to work.

{cue inner panic voice here:}

• What if I NEVER find my purpose? Will I have wasted my life?

• If I don’t have a purpose, then is what I’m doing now not important?

• Only special people are lucky enough to find their purpose (and make money doing it)...

• My purpose has GOT to be something specific - LIKE CURING CANCER - or else it’s not a worthwhile purpose. AND THEREFORE I AM NOT WORTHWHILE UNTIL I AM DOING SOMETHING WORTHWHILE (like curing cancer).

• Art is not a purpose. I cannot support myself with art. — MOVING ON.

• “Finding joy” isn't something I can put on my resumé. — NEXT.

• I NEED TO KNOW WHY THE HECK I’M HERE. SOMEONE, PLEASE TELL ME.

The angst...... whew........

LIKE I SAID…

... it can be a lot.

I'm NOT A FAN of this find your purpose! rhetoric because frankly, it's largely not realistic or helpful for most people.

Take multi-passionate folks for example.

Like me.

I never wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer or an accountant or an actor.

I want (and have always wanted) to experience lots of kinds of work in the world.

Does that mean I MISSED my purpose?

Or that I don't have one?

Do I have to choose just one in order for it to be my purpose?

What if you feel like your purpose is a job that eventually becomes obsolete because the world changes?

Does that mean you no longer have a purpose? That you are no longer important?

What about after retirement? You stop working. If your purpose is tied to work, what does that say about you?

What if you're unable to work?

What if your work is largely and frustratingly undervalued in our society (hello - childrearing)?

This purpose talk, y'all.

IT'S SO LOADED.

In light of all of that purpose-panic-talk, I’d like to propose a different way to look at your life's purpose.

(And honestly, this is something I channeled during a reading so kudos to the guides who offered it.)

Instead of looking at your life as needing a PURPOSE which is like trying to hit life's bullseye — what if you were to look at your life as a divine path?

This life, your path, it meanders.

It changes.

And you're learning and growing and evolving while you walk along this path.

When you're on path, it feels like spiritual alignment; but it doesn't have to be spiritual work that you're doing. You know you're on path because it feels really good. It feels like progress. It feels like what you're doing matters.

I remember the first time I really felt on path in my life.

I was working at a candy store in the summer before my senior year in college making little, edible treats (chocolate covered strawberries) in the afternoon.

I spent three hours in an art class in the morning (portrait sculpture) and then spent another three hours learning to throw ceramic pots in the evenings.

In my spare time, I walked or biked around the tiny college town.

I discovered a local food market and started learning to cook for myself.

And I lived alone.

Living an artistic life was ON PATH for me then.

After that, I tried to fall in line and live a life that looked like American Success, but it did NOT work for me.

Working in the corporate world was decidedly OFF PATH for me.

I learned that the hard way.

Eating healthy? On path for me.

Lots of fast food and drinking? Off path for me.

Kids? Off path for me.

(Another really hard lesson to learn in a society that still culturally favors a heteronormative, nuclear family.)

Dogs? Cats? Being a sweet adult to other people’s kids? On path for me.

Alone time? ON path.

Too much alone time? Off path.

Teaching Zumba? On path for me for so long.

Then my body started hurting all the time… and the path curved.

Do you see what I mean?

If you’re thinking...

"Yeah, yeah… okay. FINE. Path instead of purpose."

"Whatever."

(cue *your* inner teenager eye-roll… lol)

"But I still WANT a purpose!"... you say.

Here's what I will say to you:

Living on path leads you to live on purpose every day.

Because your purpose isn't just one thing.

It's little things over and over and over again that is in alignment with the moment and with your evolution as a human.

Right now as I write this blog post, my purpose is to be a clear communicator and a good teacher for you.

Writing and teaching and spiritual development are all ON PATH for me.

After I'm done with this task, my purpose will be to figure out what would be the best food for my body for dinner. (healthy food = on path)

After that, my purpose will be to show up for myself and my friends to an online exercise class. (exercise and community = on path)

After that, my purpose will be to focus on a creative project I'm working on. (art = on path)

When I'm out of alignment, I'm not living on path and everything I show up to do during the day feels wrong.

Finding purpose in those moments looks and feels more like coping.

For me that's endless social media time, more wine than normal, not exercising, and lots of *crying into a bag of cheese puffs.

(*not an exaggeration)

You may not know your purpose, but I'm sure you've had times in your life when things felt wrong and times when they felt right.

Those right feeling times?

THAT's the good stuff.

That's your divine path.

I'm so passionate about people getting on their divine path that I work with clients one-on-one to channel guidance from the other side to help them get ON (or back on) their path.

Your divine path can look like starting a business, traveling for a year, coming out of the closet, having a child, starting a book, ending a relationship, anything really! It's YOUR divine path. If you're curious to find out what your guides have to say about your divine path, contact me.

I'd be happy to talk to you about my Divine Path series and how it could work for you. Okay!

That's all for this week loves! Keep hanging in there...

Big Love, Rebecca*

PS: Know someone who could use the weekly boost of these blog posts? Please share them with your friends and family. It could change their life. xoxo