Tired of being told to “relax”?

Are there any uptight people in the audience tonight?

*peers out into the lights*

Anybody? Anyone?..............

OH GOOD. I see some hands…

Y’all are brave. I thought I was going to have to be the sole tightly wound person of the group!

Or as my sisters and friends say—the “intense” one.

Whatever.

I’m a freaking DELIGHT.

Anyway, why bring this up in a newsletter focused on spirituality and healing?

Well. I’m so glad you asked

*grin*

Now I’m an oldest child achiever from the east coast.

I know.

And not just the east coast; my family goes back to the 1700s in New York.

I come from INTENSE, go-getter stock.

I also come from some pretty hard hitting perfectionism with a gentle dash of excellence on both sides of my family.

Moving to Portland, Oregon was an experience in learning (read: masquerading) as a laid back person.

I have an ex who used to tell me that it seemed like I was so wound up, I was hovering above whatever surface I was laying on.

Not exactly “chill” per se.

(and also GREAT FUN at parties!)

ANyway, as an intense, uptight, east-coast-turned-west-coast gal, I have been told MANY times by INNUMERABLE people to “Just relax…”

*can you see my dead-eyed maniacal grin?*

Oh yes.

Just like you, I really love being told to “JUST RELAX”.

It’s honestly my favorite phrase.

…

Not only is it, you know, a completely obnoxious thing to say to another human being, but it’s also decidedly frustrating when TRY AS I MIGHT, I could not and often CANNOT get my body to relax.

Sitting down is stressful.

Lying down is like levitating.

And let’s not talk about the panic-inducing nature of naps.

Lord have mercy.

Listen.

I wanna be chill, y’all!

But for the past forty-odd years it’s like my body hasn’t exactly been on board with the idea.

So. How does this kind of tightly wound behavior show up in my life?

[fellow non-relaxers, see if you can relate here:]

• I couldn’t go to bed if the kitchen wasn’t clean

• I couldn’t walk past a tilted picture frame without adjusting it (I mean, CAN ANYONE?)

• I couldn’t stop moving until my house felt tidied up

• I couldn’t just hang out with people without something to do

• I couldn’t binge watch tv shows (not a terrible thing I know, but why couldn’t I just chill?)

• I couldn’t sleep in past a certain hour

• I couldn’t LET THINGS BE in my environment

• I couldn’t sit with my feet up until EVERYTHING WAS DONE (Narrator: She never got everything done…)

   

I know some of you can relate.

And perhaps you have some things that you do that other people tell YOU to relax about?

Yes, we live in a capitalistic society where we are rewarded for our doing more than our being.

Yes, white supremacy will have us believe that everything has to be tidy and PERFECT because there is more focus and energy spent on what is wrong than what is good.

Yes, women are programmed from a young age to be superwomen doing everything all of the time with a damn smile on their faces even if they’re bone tired and crying inside.

But honestly—even with all that b.s.—why could other people relax and I couldn’t?

I wanted to GET MYSELF to a place of physical / emotional / mental relaxation just so I could rest a bit.

Now I’ve noticed, and my dear boyfriend can attest to this, that I have significantly calmed down in a number of ways over the past few months.

I haven’t worked on a goal of “being more chill” (such a “chill” goal, amirite?) or tried to consciously stop seeing all the things out of my control in my environment.

No.

I’ve been clearing emotions about all kinds of other stuff.

Money. Shoulder pain. Mental clarity. Thyroid issues. Next steps in my business. And on and on.

But nothing about becoming more relaxed.

But when you clear trapped emotions, you are changing your perspectives on many things all at once.

An emotion of worry may have stemmed from money originally, but clearing it also means that maybe now I’m not worrying about what other people think as much.

An emotion of nervousness may have stemmed from a middle school dance, but getting it out of my system may mean that now I’m not nervous about things having to look perfect.

In short, I’m feeling more relaxed in my daily life.

I don’t feel pulled in eight hundred directions to get everything done and in its place every minute of every freaking day.

It’s a lovely and, honestly, unexpected result of doing this work.

Interested in checking out the Emotion Code?

I’m doing free half hour sessions for the next ten people.

Who’s in?

Sign up here to clear five trapped emotions for free.*

*Note: this work can make you tired. Plan your session time accordingly.*

I can’t wait to see how this helps your whole body relax without effort. :)

Big healing hugs,

Rebecca*

PS: Ten people y’all! Be one of them to sign up here.