The reason you don’t know what you want
Jan 27, 2021
Have you ever been to a personal development seminar?
Or read a self-help book?
Or had an in-depth discussion with a coach?
Based on your experience, answer this question for me.
What is the ONE thing these seminars, books, and coaches always ask you?
What do they say that you need ABSOLUTE clarity on?
It's this: they always ask:
What do you want?
I gotta be honest here.
I used to rarely have an answer to that question.
Even if it was something simple like, “What do you want for dinner tonight?” or “What do you want to do today?”
I’d be like Alexis from Schitt's Creek…"Mmm... "
*squinches face*... *looks up*
“Mmmm … I don’t know. We could go for a walk and then eat pizza and watch Netflix?”
Those answers aren’t bad. They’re good!
(In fact, on the right night that sounds like an absolutely DIVINE way to spend an evening.)
But when you take it to the next level and you’re talking about your life, if you can’t come up with a clear and compelling answer, what drives you forward?
Like I said before, I used to have a terribly tough time answering the big WHAT DO YOU WANT question.
And then I figured out why.
Now your reason for not knowing what you want may be different from mine but pay attention here.
I believe that this is often THE reason why people aren’t moving forward—why they don’t know what they want.
See if this rings true for you:
Somewhere along the line, I decided that it didn’t matter what I wanted because I wasn’t going to get it anyway… So why even dream about it?
[brace for impact here]
WHY EVEN LET MYSELF WANT IT?
[gah..... soul-crushing belief.... ]
Somewhere in my nervous system I had become wired to stop dreaming, planning, and GOING FOR what I wanted because some loud, convincing, defeated part of me had already decided that it wasn’t possible.
SO WHY EVEN TRY.
Psh.
Well then.
No WONDER I didn’t think I knew what I wanted.
I’d taken it off the table!
Why risk the disappointment?
Why risk the heartbreak
Why risk failure?
I’m telling you, why even try?
The truth was, I *did* know what I wanted, but I kept putting it on the shelf because I didn’t have any faith in the possibility of success.
(I didn’t even have the willingness to go for it and just see what might happen.)
Have you experienced this?
If you put what you *really* want to the side, all of a sudden a part of you shuts down.
The knowing part.
It’s like your personal dream factory suddenly goes out of order because you’re not exploring your deepest desires.
You’re ignoring them.
Then when you go to check in on the “What do I want to do?” question, you draw a blank.
Your soul is like “THAT! THAT! I WANT TO DO THAT OVER THERE! COME ON!”
And some part of you says, “Nah. Impossible. It’ll never happen. Let's move on.”
*heartbreak*
(Right?)
So.
How do you bring that thing down off the shelf that you really DO want to do?
First of all, you gotta be honest with yourself.
We all have those top-shelf dreams that we shoved away a long time ago.
You know what I’m talking about.
Here’s what I want you to do right now.
I know it’s annoying to read AND journal at the same time, but just do it and don’t be pretty about it.
Write on a napkin or the back of an envelope or open your journal or a word doc.
Doesn’t matter.
Write down your top shelf dream.
Now write 5 reasons why it absolutely, positively is not possible.
(If you’re 70 and your top shelf dream is to be an astronaut, you may need to write out what ABOUT being an astronaut tugs at your heart and then do this exercise and see how you get those deepest desires met.)
Now draw a line.
Write 5 reasons why it absolutely, positively, IS POSSIBLE for you to live this dream.
You may need to get creative.
Correction: You will need to get creative here.
Dreams require creativity.
What did you discover?
Did you realize that your top shelf dream isn’t really your big dream anymore?
Did you realize that you CAN actually make your dream happen with some shifts in your everyday life?
Did you realize that you’re already doing something that is your top shelf dream and you need a NEW top-shelf dream?
I’ve had a lot of top-shelf dreams and lemme tell you, they will not leave you alone unless you go for them.
The result may not look exactly like what you envisioned, but a part of your soul will expand, be at peace, feel satisfied in a way that only achieving dreams can do.
Feeling inspired?
*nod your head yes!*
Email me your top shelf dream!
I WANT TO HEAR THEM!
And yes, I will email you back.
And no, I’m not too busy for your email.
And yes, YOU and YOUR dream are IMPORTANT.
So share your dream with me. I promise to keep it safe.
Now… go on! Get on to writing and to emailing me!
*sips tea*
I'll be here waiting to read them. <3
Sending you a snowy winter day and a mug of peppermint tea,
Rebecca*
PS: If one of your dreams it to connect with your guides, then we need to talk. I can help you make connections, trust the guidance that's coming through, and together we can change the trajectory of your life. For real. Email me, lovey. We’ll set up a time to chat. Or just click the button below to email me. <3
