The crucial difference between hard and wrong

Oh, this is an important one today so I hope you have your coffee or tea or wine and you can snuggle in and read because I really want you to GET this.

Recently my international bestie sent this crazy German papercraft star thingy (I’m so eloquent) to my sister.

My sis spent a good, solid hour on step one of putting it together and was like, “Hey sis... DO YOU WANT THIS???”

(i.e. PLEASE TAKE IT.)

I said "Sure!" and took the package of tiny and complex paper pieces and it sat on my shelf for two years.

Two yearrrrrzzzzuh.

Because it looked really hard and honestly, who has TIME for crazy hard German paper crafts???

(I mean. We all do during quarantine, don’t we.)

BUT ANYWAY.

This year I roped my (extremely patient) boyfriend into sitting down and painstakingly folding and gluing (and squinting in confusion at) the 40+ odd pieces of this papercraft project.

It took us HOURS to complete...

And we may have put our relationship at risk a number of times in the process…

But we finished it.

Do you know GOOD I feel about completing that project?

I feel so satisfied with me, with us, with our methodical, slow, careful perseverance over a number of days to complete it.

It was hard, but it was also good, ya know?

I’ve been talking to a lot of folks lately who just want their life to be easy (for the love of all things holy)...

As soon as something hard pops up they go, “OH GOD! HERE WE GO! Why is everything so harrrrrd?”

And man.

I feel that.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said that I want MY life to be easy in 2021!

Possibly in the past 24 hours………..

But here’s the thing.

Hard does not always equal bad.

Hard can often mean good when held up to the light.

Doing something hard can often mean you’re on the RIGHT path.

It can mean that something that needed to happen, finally happened.

The change was hard (because it was uncomfortable), but it was also good!

If nothing was ever hard, we’d turn to marshmallows.

We’d start to gaze off into the distance wondering why we were born.

We learn who we are when we’re faced with hard things AND when we CHOOSE to do hard things.

THAT's when we grow.

THAT's when we prosper.

THAT's when we become more of who we want to be.

During and afterward the freaking hard thing.

The process can suck, don't get me wrong, but a lot like getting through labor or a marathon or another freaking hard year, we are changed by it.

We're stronger and more clear-eyed.

Now when something is wrong?

That will make things hard in a spiritual way.

(And you know when you’ve done something that’s wrong for you. You KNOW it.)

• Marrying the wrong person makes things SO hard.

• Forcing yourself to do something that feels wrong (not annoying or inconvenient, wrong) makes things hard.

• Trying to have a baby for the wrong reasons. Gosh, that is so, so hard.

• Pushing yourself to do something for JUST the accolades or the approval or the ego boost. Honey, that will make things harrrrd.

If you’re stuck, you most likely need to do something hard (read: uncomfortable) in the right direction.

That is 100% more powerful than doing something easy (read: comfortable) in the wrong direction.

Are you wrapping your head around this?

Here’s the other important thing to get:

You can either choose to face hard things head-on when they happen, or you can avoid them and they can progressively get harder and harder until you’re forced to face a much BIGGER hard thing.

(I just pissed myself off writing that statement.)

It's SO. DAMN. TRUE.

Ugh!

So here’s the key, boo.

If you can get into the micro-habit of doing the uncomfortable and seemingly hard thing as soon as you can, it will make you feel so good in the long run.

You'll feel satisfied, powerful, stronger, capable, and largely unaffected by the little irksome parts of life.

And you’ll be able to avoid that BIG crisis in the long run.

Whew!

Jiminy Crickets… my brain feels like it just played a long game of Twister…

That was a lot for the week between Christmas and New Year's, so let’s recap:

1. Hard things can be good. In fact, hard things are necessary for a good life.

2. The hard thing and the wrong thing are different. You KNOW when something is wrong.

3. Face small hard things as they come up (they always will), and you’ll avoid deeply painful BIG hard things in the future.

4. You are incredibly resilient already. Doing hard things makes you more so.

I see you and all your greatness shining over there. I really do.

Why not get ready for 2021 by doing a small hard thing that will make you feel good? I know you can do it.

Happy 2021 lovey,

Rebecca* xoxo

PS: Can’t get yourself to do hard things? I’d love to help you. My Divine Path series is what I recommend when you need more than a session and less than a six-month transformation. Check it out here.

PPS: I posted pictures of the crazy German papercraft process and completed project on my Instagram stories. You can check it out here. <3 It's for REAL y'all. lol...