What your “random” obsessions are trying to tell you—and what to do about it.

Do you know what I wanted to be when I was a kid?

Besides an Olympic synchronized swimmer… <<<< true story

Or a dancer on Broadway… <<<< also true, inspired by A Chorus Line

Or a marine biologist who exclusively studied dolphins OR (second choice ) manatees… <<<< I mean. Obvi. Who didn't?

No… I wanted to be…

A beekeeper.

Or should I say, I wanted to BEE a beekeeper.

heh……………. you’re welcome…

But yeah! A freaking beekeeper?!

What kid wants to be a beekeeper?

Well. I’ll tell you. I did.

I’m dating myself here, but I remember as a sweet young kiddo who was only allowed to watch public television, seeing this short clip about a beekeeper on Sesame Street.

I must have seen this clip twenty five times and I… FREAKING… LOVED IT.

It’s a short of a woman collecting honey from a hive with her three kids.

Do you remember that?

If (FOR SOME REASON) you never saw it, watch it here. It's kind of a trip.

 [Watching this clip again as an adult, I’m noticing just how seventies psychedelic this whole video was… Mom high? Why are the kids so docile? IS THIS WHAT CHILDREN USED TO BE LIKE IN THE SEVENTIES BEFORE SCREENS?]

ANYWAY.

Back to the bees…

I loved this clip.

I loved the gentleness of it.

I clearly loved the homestead-y energy of it (because I am also a wannabe homesteader).

I loved that they pressed the honey RIGHT THERE after they collected the combs and then ate it on to

I love that they were all in such a state of wonder about the miracle that is nature.

It’s just so wholesome and real.

Now have I achieved this goal of bee-coming a beekeeper yet?

Not yet.

Why do I bring up this foray into my childhood, you ask?

Because I’ve ALWAYS wanted to BEE (I seriously can’t stop) a beekeeper.

And until I am, I think I will always be obsessed with keeping bees.

My heart jumps every time I see a bee hive.

I’m seriously like a five year old.

Picture me driving through a rural area and then spotting a cluster of hives… “OOOOOH Y’ALL! LOOK! BEEEEES!” as I nearly swerve off the road.

And that fascination started YOUNG.

At the psychedelic age of five...

I think when you fall in love with something at a young age, it’s not falling in love for the first time.

I believe it’s an active memory from a part of you that existed before you were born. 

Now here’s where the jury is still out for me.

Do I love bees because I love farming because my ancestors were farmers on my Mom’s side and most likely (not just gardeners but also) farmers too on my Dad’s side???

I’m pretty sure my people grew potatoes in Ireland, and I know FOR SURE that my great grandfather was a farmer before he fled Poland.

And did those ancestors keep bees in addition to cows and chickens and sheep on their land?

Did they make their own wine?

Did they braid their own garlic? (Braiding garlic is another random fascination of mine.)

Another story of weirdness about me:

A number of years ago I became OBSESSED with learning to spin wool.

My (very patient) partner at the time bought me spinning (wool, not Soul Cycle) classes at a local community center.

I went into the class with a backpack full of excitement and wonder, but knowing LITERALLY nothing.

On day one, I found myself sitting in a circle of incredibly knowledgeable and highly skilled knitters, crocheters, quilters — ya know, people who KNEW wool and KNEW fiber and probably had their own sheep in their backyard at home.

While we sat there waiting for the instructor, they were talking shop about all the yarn and felted things they’d made by hand and the different kinds of spinning wheels they'd researched and types of wool they knew about.

Meanwhile, yours truly was just sitting there hands on my knees staring blankly at them like Homer Simpson mentally inquiring about donuts.

But then the teacher came in and we started to learn to SPIN WOOL on A REAL SPINNING WHEEL.

And I …. well, I was kind of a savant.

I took to spinning like an Irish woman takes to her whiskey.

And my classmates were agog. Hell, I was agog.

SOMEHOW the Universe had made me this Cosmic ringer for spinning.

HOW did I know how to spin like I’d been doing it my whole life even though I’d never sat down at spinning wheel before?

WHY did it come so easily to me?

And WHY had I been so obsessed with trying it?

It is NOT because I am exceptionally gifted at fiber arts.

Quite truthfully, I am not even moderately gifted at fiber arts. Infinity scarves unravel on their own when they see me coming.

But I swear, when I sat down at that spinning wheel, everything in me said “I’ve done this before…”

I haven’t just done this once, I’ve done this many, many times before.

I know how to do this.

I know you've had this experience in your life. (Or if you haven't, do more of the random things that call to you - and you will know what I mean.)

This familiar KNOWING how to do something can be with anything: volleyball, unicycle, cooking, drawing, singing, juggling, chopping wood, training dogs, building a fire, surfing, gardening, breastfeeding, baking, dancing, cross-stitch, guitar, metalwork...........

You obsess about it, then you try it, and you just GET it.

Like right off the bat. You have this knack. And it’s kind of surprising. Even to you. Or maybe ESPECIALLY to you.

HOW do we know how to do these things? And WHY do we feel called to them?

Is it an ancestral memory? They say our ancestors' DNA is IN our cells so... is that cellular familiarity coming out in real time? Or is it a memory from another life? Or multiple lives?

Either way, these (maybe not so) random obsessions are clues to who we used to be. They’re breadcrumbs on the path to the complex, whole truth of who we are.

When we follow that breadcrumb path we're able to forge a deep connection to our souls.

To the part of us that has been around a long, long, long, LONG time.

To the part of us that has existed before us — either in the DNA of an ancestor or in the full embodiment of another version of ourselves in another time.

Why do I find this connections important?

Because I think we are largely disconnected from the wisest part of ourselves and anything we can do to connect to that wisdom - to our souls - will make our lives better and more meaningful.

I experience my soul as residing in the center of my chest, quite close to where my heart chakra spins.

I'd love to say that I move gracefully through my day with most of my consciousness living right there in the center of my heart.

But honestly?

Most of my day is spent speaking, reading, thinking, focusing, scrolling, listening, analyzing, etc.

So. I am SQUARELY in my head.

And all of that swirling head energy means I’m not living in a heart centered way.

Taking the time to focus on these random and long-standing obsessions of mine brings me RIGHT back into the center of myself.

When things feel crazy and hard, it’s my soul that helps me calm down.

When life feels like it’s gotten a little too heavy and serious, it’s my soul that lightens things up.

When I get into the story that the world is most definitely a dumpster fire teetering precariously on the cliffs of disaster (EXHAAAAALE.......).......... it’s connecting with my soul that reminds me to look at the sky and look at the trees and maybe go buy some honey from a farmer’s market... and to breathe.

Soul connections are sanity connections. They're a direct line to our calm, all-knowing Higher Self.

Soul connections remind us that we existed before this time and that we will exist again. They take us out of the spin and into the present moment. They make us joyful — for no reason other than because we LIKE doing this (random) thing. They encourage us to PLAY.

These random obsessions may not make sense in the organized structure of our daily lives, but they’re there to bring us back home to ourselves.

Soul connections are important on so many levels.

So tell me...

What random obsessions bring you joy?

Are you as weird as me with my beekeeping and wool spinning and garlic braiding?

Tell me in the comments.

Until next week, I'm be sending you soul-filled joy... Rebecca*

PS: Do you have a topic you want me to blog about? Reply to this email and tell me about it! I want to write content that YOU want to read. Lay it on me kids.

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