How to go from mehhhh to YES!

So… important question to start things off:

Are you a Gilmore Girls fan?

I, admittedly, am not.

*WINCE*

I know!

Don’t throw things at me…

I just started watching the show and I haven't even gotten through the first season because y’all... I AM SO BORED.

Now I’ve heard that to love this show you really had to watch it when it first came out so that you could relate to the characters (??) and also properly escape into their perfect little town at a time when you are actually closer to that age (??).

Yeah.

I don’t get it.

ANYWAY.

Back to the point.

At some point in one of the seasons, my sister told me that one of the characters breaks up with someone who's a truly incredible guy. She says to him:

"You're the man I want to want."

Ohhhhh boyyyyy.

This HAP-PENS.

Right?

You're dating an amazing person...

OR — You have a high paying job with tons of benefits...

OR — You have a house that people compliment you on all the time...

OR —You live in a city that people would love to live in...

And yet — it's just not right for you.

In fact, it might feel flat out wrong.

Enter the feelings of struggle. The self-flagellation. The "I know I should be grateful for this, but..." statements.

But <——— BUT… you're not happy.

Whew. I've been there.

Hugs for the hard.

Alright... so...

IF you are feeling like something is just not right in your life and you SHOULD be grateful for that thing, I'm going to encourage you to do something different than constantly beating yourself up for it.

I want you to go deeper.

I want you to ask yourself why you don't like this aspect of your life that you feel like you SHOULD like.

And then allow yourself to soften and be open to the answer.

Now listen...

Some big things might emerge from doing this asking.

• For example, if you know your relationship isn’t right, is it because this person isn’t a fit or is it because you’re realizing new things about your sexuality?

• If your job isn’t right, is it because of a tough relationship with your boss or is it because you pursued that particular field to make your parents happy?

• If your city isn’t right, is it because you haven’t connected with your community yet or is it actually something like a rainy climate that brings you down nine months of the year?

• If your home isn’t right, is it because that house actually doesn’t fit your needs or is it because you’re feeling bored and having trouble facing deeper issues in your life?

Sometimes the answer is simply I just know that it’s not right for me.

And that is a very valid reason my friend.

Often times if you get that feeling or you have that knowing that something isn’t what you want, it’s often because that thing is spiritually out of alignment for you.

What does spiritually out of alignment mean?

For me, spiritually out of alignment means I'm not living in line with my values.

I've learned that our values not only come from how we were raised, but they also grow out of our experiences.

Our experiences change us and change our values.

And when our values change, the things that we thought were a fit, may not be a fit any longer.

For example, I used to live in a large house — or what I considered large — it was 1394 square feet.

Big, right?

I spent so much of my time trying to figure out how to fill those spaces with furniture, what to use all of the rooms for, what to put up on the walls…

I also spent a lot of time tidying and cleaning.

It felt ridiculous.

And it felt wasteful.

And I felt out of alignment.

I knew that my next house would be smaller because I wanted to live more minimally, and I wanted to spend my precious time on things that mattered to me — not on shopping and arranging and cleaning.

I now live in a 375 square foot space and it’s a much better fit for me.

This tiny home is in line with my values.

I feel spiritually aligned living here.

I knew that tiny living was something my soul was being called to do because every time I went to IKEA I made a beeline for the efficient model apartments.

You know what I’m talking about?

If you’ve never been to IKEA, IKEA is a big box store that has everything for your home from furniture to lighting to art to dishes.

And it’s all relatively inexpensive.

The store does a lot of visual merchandising to show what’s possible in your home.

One of the super cool things they opened my eyes to was the miraculous nature of living in a small, efficient space.

They do this with model apartments they've nested IN the store.

They’re pretty rad.

Every time I would walk into one of these model apartments, I completely lit up.

Partially because they felt smart, partially because they felt safe, partially because they were just so cool, design-wise, and MOSTLY because I knew this lifestyle was a fit for me.

Feeling lit up in those IKEA apartments was what I call a soul tug.

I define a soul tug as internal pull from my spiritual compass that serves as a directional marker for my happiness.

It's like my inner guide is saying, "YES! YES! This way! This way!"

It is the direct opposite of mehhhh.

You've experienced a soul tug, yes?

It's one of those experiences where you sometimes unexpectedly find yourself saying... "Oh my gosh I love this..."

Often times we dismiss soul tugs because they don't make any rational sense.

Tango dancing? Psh. I don't know how to dance...

An energy work intensive? But I'm an engineer...

Travel to Vietnam? But I've only flown a few times in my life!

Have a baby? But I'm thirty-nine and single...

Ahhh... we have been SO programmed to value the rational over the intuitive.

But friends...

Soul tugs come from the heart center, not the mind center. A soul tug feels like a spark, a flutter, or like a huge wave of enthusiastic glee. Soul tugs are soul guides.

To me a soul tug literally feels like a pull to pursue something - a place - a career - a hobby - a person - an experience.

I've found that when I'm keenly tuned into those pulls, my life gets better and easier and more enriching.

Now — back to you!

I have no doubt that there is something in your life that’s been spiritually tugging at your sleeve.

Maybe it’s travel.

Maybe it’s volunteering.

Maybe it’s something creative.

Maybe it’s connecting with a certain person or group.

Whatever that tug is, it’s most likely your soul trying to get your attention!

(HOW COOL!)

When something doesn't' feel right in your life, following your soul tugs is a great way to get started down a path of what would feel good.

So!

Tell me in the comments where you’ve been feeling that soul tug in your life. And tell me what you’ve been considering doing about it.

I’m always excited to hear what you’re up to.

Rebecca*