The one question that makes your day instantly better.

Do you find yourself facing daily anxiety?

The one emotion I can’t seem to fully shake no matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing, is anxiety.

I've figured out some pretty decent coping mechanisms.

Music, dancing, fine art, meditation, wandering - these deeply engaging activities allow me to be so fully present that I forget about all the responsibilities and to-dos that cause my anxiety in the first place.

And yet...

Worry is in my DNA on both sides of my family tree.

I tend to neurotically tap my fingers in a pattern, bounce my foot, subconsciously chew on my lip, or some combination of these micro movements to release the excess energy running through my nervous system.

I always seem to feel it just under surface of my skin.

My Mom, grandparents, sisters all do some version of these subconscious body movements too... so is it nature or nurture causing me to move to deal with my anxiety?

I don’t know.

It’s my ongoing battle with anxiety that brings me to today’s topic.

Finding the best and quickest method for facing daily anxiety.

Many of my clients work with me to manage their stress, overwhelm, frustrations and anxiety.

I’ve realized over the years of working with them that there’s ONE question that - once answered - will get them immediately back on track.

Here’s the question:

What would give you emotional relief in this moment?

 

[Just *asking* this question elicits a big exhalation from me.]

I’ve learned over the years from my clients and my personal experience that there’s usually one big thing causing the anxiety.

It can be a mundane daily task like replying to an email, paying a bill, checking in on relatives, checking an ominous voicemail.

Or it can be something that feels huge, like finishing your taxes or applying to grad school or a sales presentation.

I've noticed that usually when you complete that one thing, your anxiety drops way down and you can move forward through your day with more ease.

Often times handling that ONE thing frees up a ton of energy too.

Now anxiety can brew under the surface about much bigger topics, like having a tough talk with an aging parent, applying for a new job in a new field, going to the doctor about an ongoing condition, or deciding that you don’t actually *want* to pursue the career that you just got your M.A. in.

Either way, this question provides immediate clarity and truly focuses in on what you need to do - action wise - to free yourself from the inner torment of anxiety.

Note: There’s a lot of motivation and productivity jargon out there about eating the biggest, ugliest frog first in your day.

First of all, ew.

Who came up with that?

I just can’t...

Second of all, there is absolutely NOTHING about that phrase that makes me want to take action.

In fact, the idea of even metaphorically eating a frog makes my anxiety spike.

Just no.

I am not suggesting you eat any metaphorical or literal frogs.

Ever.

I'm suggesting you work from a place of feelings, rather than thoughts, first.

One thing that non-anxious people don’t understand about anxious people is that we literally can’t function as well when our anxiety is flaring up.

Period.

So you need to get to a place where you're feeling better in order to be more productive.

Asking the question, “What would give me emotional relief in this moment?” not only provides instant emotional calm, but it’s a conscious step towards listening to the intuitive wisdom of the body instead of being a slave to what the intellect insists is the most important action to take.

So!

Ask yourself this one question when you’re feeling anxious about daily life or life in general.

Bringing your stress down will allow you to think more clearly, be more productive, show up more creatively, and enjoy the life you’re living right now.

Try it and let me know how it works for you!

Rebecca* - xoxo

PS: Know a certain someone who struggles with anxiety? Share this post!