Why “Just do it!” can be the worst advice ever

Hello lovelies! Today we're going to talk about NOT taking that next step. (Yet.)

(Stay with me. This will make sense.)

So!

You and I both know that we are a culture OBSESSED with taking action.

Take the leap! Go for it! Get in there! JUST DO IT!

I grew up hearing a lot of these phrases as an athlete.

Like most kids, I had doubts about my abilities and felt resistance to trying some new things.

That's normal for people of any age.

My coaches' tough love approach was to IGNORE those feelings and sink or swim.

Yikes.

I don't blame them.

It totally was what I needed to hear in some situations and it was EXACTLY THE WRONG THING in some other situations.

Why was that?

Why is it NOT right to just do it at certain times?

There are steps to behavioral change.

When you can give yourself a chance to go through ALL the steps, when you feel prepared and you have support, the likelihood that your habit will stick is much greater.

Let's go through the stages:

Step 1: Pre-Contemplation (Not Ready)

Other people are telling you that you need to make a change in your life, but you're not ready. You're unmotivated. You're resistant to help or suggestions. Change is not on your radar. It's not a priority and probably not going to happen in the next 6 months. You may be talking about what's wrong (maybe even incessantly), but you're not open to doing anything about it.

Step 2: Contemplation (Getting Ready)

In this stage, you're thinking about making a change, but you're still not entirely sure about it. You're weighing the pros and cons, sometimes over and over again, and often procrastinating on making a decision because neither side feels convincing. You're not ready to commit to anything yet, but you're thinking about it. (This is where people often say JUST DO IT. <--- It's too soon.)

Step 3: Preparation (Ready)

In this stage, you've made the decision to change and you're starting to take baby steps. You're putting a plan in place to make that change happen. You're gathering support. You're hiring a coach. You're preparing yourself physically, mentally and emotionally for action and starting to test it out. (This is a tentative yet very important and often rushed-through phase.)

Step 4: Action (Doing the thing!)

You've start taking consistent action! You're at the gym 3 times a week. You're not smoking. You're meeting with your coach weekly. You're making overt changes in your behavior. You're doing this for under 6 months, so it's still new. (There's energy and excitement here, but you haven't created a habit yet. Your new behavior is starting to grow roots.)

[Sidebar: I don't believe that it takes 30 Days to create a new habit... more on that in another post.]

Step 5: Maintenance

You've been taking action for more than six months AND you're working to prevent relapse back to your old ways. You're creating a habit. (It's really important to have support during this stage to make sure you've got contingency plans and accountability in place for when life tries to throw you off track.)

Can you see why taking action can be too much too soon?

Sometimes you're just not ready yet.

Can you think back on a time when you jumped into the action phase without going through the other phases?

How about New Year's resolutions?

How about changing your eating habits?

How about trying to quit smoking?

How about dating?

(I'm pretty sure I just head a collective groan...)

People JUMP in too soon and then often struggle, fail, and them blame themselves for the failure.

And that's just not fair.

(See why these steps are so important?)

So!

Think about a change in your life that you're interested in making or that someone has suggested that you make - indulge me for a moment.

Where are you in the stages of change?

If you're in the pre-contemplation stage, how about just recognizing that there are people who care about you and want you to be happy?

If you're in the contemplation stage - how about envisioning how your life would be BETTER after you made this change?

If you're in the preparation stage - how about reaching out for some support so that you don't have to do the work alone?

If you're in the action stage - how about finding someone you trust to keep your accountable on a daily basis?

If you're in the maintenance stage - how about finding a program of support that keeps your progressing for 2 years or more?

No one is an island.

Support is so crucial to making a change.

In the meantime, be gentle with yourself.

You are where you are in the progression of change and wherever you are is OK.

Just having this framework to turn to can be a compass when you're feeling stuck or lost.

What stage are you in on your journey? Reply in the comments!

Rebecca*

PS: Please share this post with your friends and loved ones. <3