How to move past that massively stuck feeling.

When you say you’re stuck, you’re actually not.

I want to start off with a clarification.

You may be using the word "stuck," but the reality for 99.9% of you is that you’re not stuck.

You're scared.

Scared of leaving the relationship. Scared of telling the truth. Scared of taking the sabbatical. Scared of booking the flight. Scared of coming out. Scared of going back to school. Scared of admitting you want a divorce. Scared of getting back on the treadmill.

You’re freaking scared of ALL OF IT.

Now some good news!

We’re ALL scared.

We’re just scared of different things, at different times, and handling it in different ways.

Now, we need to do a mindset shift before we go into the rest of this post. I’m going to encourage you to stop using the word stuck.

Instead say, “I know my next steps, and I’m scared.”

AND THEN SAY, “But I’m taking action anyway…”

HEY YO! GAME CHANGER.

The truth is that you know what you want to do.

You have exquisite intuition and vision.

The stuck/scared part usually comes in when you think about what comes next.

You know your job is not a fit and so you want to up and quit.

And yes, I realize that line was more Shel Silverstein than Jay-Z. It's no secret I'm not cool.

LET’S MOVE ON.

Now.

You know what you want to do, but you don’t know what you want to do next.

CUE PANIC MIND:

Sure you can quit your job, but then how will you pay your bills? How will you eat? How will you afford to send the kids to college??

You know divorce is the next right step, but what will your mother say? What will you tell the kids? How will you afford life on just your income?

Sure you want to be a writer, but do you know how many rejections Stephen King got? A LOT. What makes you think you could do any better?

I know I'm supposed to do something more than the work I’m doing, but I’m good at it, I make good money. Am I crazy to want to do something more? Am I being ungrateful? Maybe I should try and just accept what I have…

Right?

A teensy, tiny panic snowball can roll out into a mega, monster panic snowball with just a few anxiety-ridden, self-defeating questions. And that, my friend, can stop you right in your tracks.

However.

You’re leaving out one incredibly crucial component of this thought process.

You are bigger than your problems.

You are smarter. You are more resourceful. You are bolder. You have support.

And… You have options.

HONEY. THE WORLD IS FULL O’ OPTIONS. Let's explore some options from the panicked questions from above:

Scenario #1: Sure you can quit your job, but then how will you pay your bills? How will you eat?

How will you afford to send the kids to college??

OPTIONS:

Don’t quit your job yet.

Start exploring options of things that come easily to you.

Start applying to other jobs right away. Check out jobs that are a level UP, maybe at a different company. Talk to folks about what you want to do instead.

Find an online tutorial (there are SO MANY) of something you’re interested in pursuing.

Also - go to therapy.

Scenario #2: You know divorce is the next right step, but what will your mother say? What will you tell the kids? How will you afford life on just your income?

OPTIONS:

Find online communities of women who left marriages. Read about how they did it. Read a book on how to manage life after divorce. Ask your mom for support instead of criticism. If she can’t support you, stop leaning on her and ask your dad, siblings, friends, community members. Remember that divorce is not new in this country. Thousands of people have gone through the process and now help others through the process.

Also - go to therapy.

Scenario #3:

Sure you want to be a writer, but do you know how many rejections Stephen King got? A LOT. What makes you think you could do any better?

OPTIONS:

If you’re not writing regularly, start writing. Start building a following on social media. Influencers get book deals if their writing strikes a chord with their large and engaged audience. Sign up for Medium (an online platform to read and write where anyone can be a writer) and start publishing some work. Join a writers group.

Also - go to therapy.

Scenario #4:

I know I’m supposed to do something more than the work I’m doing, but I’m good at it and I make good money. Am I crazy to want to do something more? Am I being ungrateful? Maybe I should try and just accept what I have…

OPTIONS:

Trust your inner call to do something more. If you want to contribute in a greater way, you are not being ungrateful. The world will benefit from you following your higher call. Start letting yourself dream. Hire a career coach or a life coach or a spiritual coach to help guide you. Start meditating to get in touch with your inner guidance and your guides.

Also - go to therapy.

See?

OPTIONS.

Often times the only thing standing between you and what you want, is action.

The other thing that can snowball in your life once you begin taking action, is confidence.

KNOW that you can handle whatever it is that comes your way and start taking steps to make a change.

Baby steps Gina. Not mondo steps.

Me: What’s a mondo step? Also me: It’s like a very large, awkward step. Me: Oh… monnndo step… I think you made that up. Also me: I may have....................

*grins and looks at nails*

Now you may have noticed a theme amongst all of the options I suggested: therapy. You know I’m a big proponent of therapy.

I recommend that you find a therapist who you really jive with and then work with that therapist regularly to keep healing and growing. Therapy is not just for a crisis. Therapy is regular mental and emotional self-care. Okay! To recap today’s post:

1. When you’re feeling stuck, you are most likely scared.

2. Look at where you’re stopping yourself. Are you in panic what-if mode?

3. To get unstuck, take some baby-step actions. Start researching. Reading. Watching YouTube. Just DO something small in the direction of the change you want to make.

4. Remember that action is what you’re going for. If you want to throw in a dash of confidence with that action, fannnntastic.

5. Go to therapy.

Alright!

What action are you going to take?

Reading a book counts! Talking to a friend counts! Learning to tap counts!

Let me know in the comments.

Until next time, Rebecca*

PS: Make someone's life a little easier, brighter, or more insightful by sharing this post. xoxo