How to handle F.O.M.O. from someone who hates missing out.

Your friends invited you for drinks at 5:00pm, you have a barbecue at 6pm, and there's a movie in the park at 7:30pm.

You say to yourself... Psssh! I can do ALL. OF. THEM.

YES?

And maybe you DO manage to go from one thing to the next to the next... but you don't really enjoy any of it.

Why is that?

In my experience, it's because you're being ruled by negative feelings rather than positive feelings.

You're thinking about what what you want to avoid rather than what you want enjoy.

When you're running from event to event, you end up being more focused on time than on being fully present where you are.

You don't get to soak up the experience.

So what's happening when FOMO (fear of missing out) strikes?

In my experience, it's not simply a fear of missing out on something.

It's many thing

• It's the fear of disappointing someone you care about (i.e. saying no)

• It's the worry that you'll pick the wrong event to attend (and be disappointed)

• It's the sadness that you can't be everywhere at once (which feels unfair)

• It's the feeling of needing to sacrifice what you want to go somewhere with/for a partner (It HAPPENS)

• It's the subtle anxiety of being judged about what you might really want to do (stay home, watch Netflix, and knit - for example)

• It's the cultural heaviness that activity is somehow better than rest (i.e. You SHOULD go out on Friday nights. You SHOULD want to be around people.)

• It may be the need to feel popular and desired - to feel wanted and/or needed

• It may be a distraction from something really hard you don't want to face

• It could be the pain of committing to a decision and then being okay with it

• And lastly, it can be a symptom of being connected to your personal truth

See?

There are so many negative emotions to contend with when you don't do everything.

Here's the thing:

FOMO feels really real.

But it's not.

It's a swirl of thoughts and feelings and ideas and perceptions. (see above)

But that's it.

What I've learned from working with clients, talking to friends, and getting to know myself better is that when pressed to decide, people know what they want to do.

And y'all.

IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE THE SKILL OF KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

And then - it's just as important to be courageous enough to express what you want to the people in your life.

It helps when you have people who SUPPORT YOU in those decisions rather than JUDGING YOU for them. <--- this last part is big.

So.

Very.

Important.

So!

Here's some quick advice for you:

The next time you're faced with the feeling of FOMO, ask yourself - what do I really want to do?

Pause for a moment, get quiet, and really tune in.

And then do that one thing and be FULLY present when you do it.

Unapologetically.

Fall in love with the thing you've decided to do instead mourning the thing you're not doing.

Remember, this is a NEW PRACTICE.

You may feel a little wobbly in your decision making skills at first and that is OKAY.

It's a practice.

The more you do it, the stronger you will become.

Just reading this post means you're already making strides.

To your greatness,

Rebecca

PS: Share this with that friend who's always running from thing to thing! They might just need a little permission to do what they really want to do. <3