How to cope when someone is driving you crazy

You know when you get really mad.

I mean seriously STEAMED.

You can be mad at someone in your living space.

(Life is extra interesting/challenging right now in that arena with quarantine.)

You can be mad at someone you're not even friends with.

(Like the cars full of twenty-somethings you've seen driving on the highway when we're supposed to be social-distancing.)

(NOT LIKE *I'M* MAD AT THAT OR ANYTHING.....................)

You can be mad at someone you've never met.

A political figure.

Perhaps.

Hell.

Right now you can be mad at EVERYbody.

And that's okay.

It's okay to feel all the things.

Because pandemic.

We are IN IT (lockdown) until who knows when.

And we are not getting OUT OF IT (lockdown) any time soon for our own safety and well-being.

*cue tiny, sad trombone*

And it is likely that if you haven't already felt:

• Agitated

• Frustrated

• Trapped

• Infuriated

• on EDGE

At least once, you may at some point.

The people who are going to feel the brunt of these supercharged feelings are, usually, your loved ones.

You may even lash out at the people closest to you when you're actually mad at your boss, your neighbor, or that guy on the TV that just keeps saying the most maddening things.

So what the heck do you do when you start getting all kinds of prickly with the people around you?

Let’s go through some ways to DEAL with these big feelings, shall we?

1. Take a walk.

Not like a stroll from the couch to the refrigerator and back to the couch.

I'm talking a walk-walk.

Ya know.

OUTSIDE.

If someone in your home (or anywhere really) is driving you up one of the four walls you’re feeling trapped in, then it’s best for you to TAKE A MINUTE and get your booty outside and MOVE.

Give those big emotions a chance to move through you and then out of you.

Movement also has a way of bringing new ideas or realizations to light.

You might realize that you're not (just) angry with your neighbor for having a group of people over for Easter.

You're feeling scared by their recklessness. ... and angry... because really?

an Easter gathering NOW?!

UGGGGH.

Recognize those feelings.

Feel them.

Keep moving until you've really walked them out enough to talk reasonably.

2. Recognize that your pain-body is being triggered.

When you feel uncontrollably mad...

like, crumple the house with your angry glare mad...

like, scorch the furniture with your roar mad...

like, set it all on fire and LET IT BURN mad...

When you are THAT mad, you are no longer of sound mind and body my friend.

You are most likely acting from a place of deep, old hurts.

Eckhart Tolle calls this part of us the pain-body.

If someone is driving you crazy and you're to the point where you are rehearsing and re-rehearsing the five snarky things you're going to say in response to them...

If you're posting cruel things online over and over about a political situation that's got you heated...

If you CANNOT STOP venting about someone who absolutely drives you up the wall...

Your pain-body is activated.

Mad is one thing.

But feeling that rip-roaring I-want-to-slash-their-tires mad?

That's your pain-body.

The best way to regain control?

• Realize that it's your pain-body running the show.

• Call it out verbally. ("I see you pain-body! I know this is you and not me freaking out!")

• Get into the present moment by tuning into your five senses.

• Breathe and center until you feel that part of you calm down again.

3. When a loved one or friend asks if you might need some alone time, take it.

I have been known to go full-on-angry-porcupine when I don’t get the time and space that I need.

I am SUCH a delight during these times...

*eyelash flutter*

Those who know me and love me have learned to ask this incredibly important question:

“Would you like it if I left you alone for a bit?”

I have often argued with them saying something not-at-all codependent or passive-aggressive like, "What?! No! I'm FINE. Stay..."

And then they (knowingly and gently) leave me alone anyway.

Then I usually burst into tears.

Cry all my feelings out.

Do whatever I want to do for a while...

Usually make some art...

Then they return when they sense that my quills are down and the coast is clear...

Annnnnd life is better for everyone.

Just like that.

If someone asks you if you need space, g’head and take it Gina.

Because trust you-me.

Ya need it.

4. Ask yourself what's up

The other day I was so freaking agitated.

I was taking an online Zumba class and I was just SO PISSED OFF.

Not at anyone. Not enough to tear off my sneaker and hurl it at my laptop.

But still!

I was P.O.’d.

The whole situation was so weird that I kept saying to myself...

“Wow. I seem really agitated. What’s going on?”

Throughout the whole hour, I was fitful and curious, agitated and boggled, annoyed and wondering...

"DUDE. WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH YOU TODAY?"

Then, at the very end of class, the instructor played one of my favorite songs and I could feel it in my chest.

The sadness bubbled up fast and I started crying, hard.

It hit me that I was feeling agitated because I was so angry that we all couldn’t be dancing together, and I was SO sad because I missed dancing in person.

The anger was the candy coating to a much deeper core of sadness that I wasn’t letting myself feel.

I didn't even realize the sadness was there.

Moral of the story?

Ask yourself what's up and then wait and see what comes up.

Feel the feelings and allow whatever is there to unfold.

5. Close everyone out for as long as you can.

This - from the outset - may not seem like a healthy response.

But y’all.

Sometimes when you are agitated and you've HAD IT with whoever, you just need to CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR to the bedroom or bathroom or hall closet or wherever you can hide with a flashlight and some mallowmars and a good book AND BE THERE ALONE FOR A WHILE.

Especially now.

Other people’s energy is a LOT and can be overwhelming when you're pissed.

You may need some energetic s p a c e from the people in your life in order to reset.

And for longer than a few minutes.

Talk to your partner.

Say LOOK.

I need some TIME AWAY from everyone else.

Ask if they would be the firewall between you and the kids for a while.

Or put on a movie for the kids.

Order a pizza and take your slices to the bedroom.

baaaaiiiiii

Get creative, clear, and fierce with your need for boundaries.

If you’re on your own with kids in your home, give them an hour (an hour and a half?) of quiet time in their rooms.

Every time they come out or act up, quiet time gets extended.

You can call it quarantine quaranTIME.

Go crazy.

I learned about quiet time from a friend of mine who employs quiet time EVERY SINGLE DAY for her kids and they either play or read or fall asleep or pout (and then get over it) in separate rooms every afternoon.

She needs it.

They need it.

You’re in charge at home.

You can make quiet time a new thing if you want.

Permission.

Granted.

Okay... let's review!

To recap from today:

1. It's okay if you're feeling MAD AS HELL these days.

2. If someone's driving you crazy, talk a walk outside. Really MOVE.

3. If you're rip-roaring mad, call out your pain-body and use your five senses to bring yourself to the present moment.

4. If someone lovingly suggests alone time for you, take it. They're hinting.

5. Ask yourself what's up when you're feeling really angry. Watch yourself from the outside. There are most likely other emotions under the surface waiting to emerge.

6. Find a room and close the door for as long as you can. Get creative with your personal space strategies. Kids need quiet time too.

That’s all for this week!

I'd love to hear if you've been feeling more angry or agitated recently and if you've used any other strategies that have helped!

ALSO! I am going to start doing online group sessions!

I'm SUPER EXCITED.

If you’re curious about a reading, I’m looking for five beta testers for my first online group session.

You'd be a good fit as a beta tester if:

• Open to spirit communication

• Curious about your past lives

• Highly intuitive

• Suspect that your loved ones are hanging around you

• Want to know more about your soul’s calling

• You’re willing to give feedback/testimonials after the session

If you’re interested in learning more or talking to me about group sessions, reply to this email.

If you know someone who’s looking for a medium who’s got both feet on the ground, send them my way.

Okay... that's really it this time!

Sending you big, warm hugs, big, deep breaths and lots of mallowmars,

Rebecca* PS: Please remember to share this post with someone you love who may need it. <3