How to connect with new people fast and easily

A couple of weekend’s ago I went to a wedding.

Being my boyfriend’s plus one meant that I knew exactly one person going in—him.

Although he is a VERY fun person to do anything with, he had friends at the wedding and it was a multi-day wedding event.

I knew that I would need to actually talk to people I didn’t know.

*duh duh DUNH*

I know. Many of you are muttering to yourself right now, “Psh. I wouldn’t go.”

(You said that, didn’t you?)

Now I’m an ambivert, half introvert and half extrovert, so it’s not the easiest for me to meet new people in an environment like a wedding, but it’s not excruciating either.

And I’ve learned over the years a few ways to make it a bit easier.

Here’s are my tips:

#1 Make sure you feel physically good.

Outfits that are too restrictive or too loose will run the show. If you have to keep messing with your clothes because you’re too hot, too self-conscious, or uncomfortable at all, it’s going to mess with your mojo. If your feet hurt from your heels, you’re going to be distracted. If you feel ashamed of your outfit, your hair, your shoes, your nails, etc., you’re going to find yourself wanting to hide. Wear something that’s comfortable and appropriate for the event and dress it up with a nice haircut and good accessories. Done.

#2 Decide that you’re going to be someone who makes the gathering better for everyone.

At this wedding, a dapper lumberjack themed event, they had a barbecue and games on day one. Now it was freaking HOT out. All the attendees sat there downing bottled water and waving fans, but the lumberjack games went on anyway. I decided to sign up for all of them. (And I signed my boyfriend up too. He loved that… eventually.) And you know what? It was fun! Participation is usually WAY more fun than sitting on the sidelines. And! It gives you a point of connection with the other people, which leads me to tip number three…

#3 Find the other people who seem interesting and fun and connect with them.

People who sign up to play the games? You got it. They were interesting, engaging, and fun. Not only what it easy to create rapport with them because we were playfully competing with each other, but the games gave us all something to talk about. What about the people at an event who seem a little quiet? And what about the people you don’t naturally gravitate towards but you end up seated at a table with? I have a tip for that too, see number four…

#4 Treat everyone like you’ve known them for years.

When you talk to someone as if you’re already friends, there’s a certain vibration of comfort that makes the other person feel at ease. I end up talking to just about anyone when I bring in the mindset that we’re old friends and we just haven’t talked in a while.

I walked away from that wedding weekend with a handful of new friends and even an invitation to visit some of them at their lake house. Meeting those people was the highlight of the event.

Now I will say that not everyone wants to go to a wedding and talk to you.

Sometimes I will try and talk to folks in a playful manner and they flat out ignore me. Maybe they don’t hear me? Maybe they think I’m talking to someone else? Maybe they have social anxiety and they’re lost in their own thoughts?

I don’t know.

Even at this wedding, I attempted a conversation with some folks across the buffet line annnnnd... crickets. These folks didn’t even look at me.

I just laughed. What can you do? Talking to the air is funny.

If that happens to you, just shrug it off and move on to people who more ready, willing, and able to engage.

I used these skills and tips at a wedding where I really didn’t know anyone, but you can use these same tips at a backyard barbecue, a house party, a holiday gathering, anywhere really.

And the benefit? New connections that can lead to friendship. :)

Do you have connection tips that really work for you? Tell me about them in the comments.

Also, if you haven’t signed up for this weekend’s Friend Magnet workshop, now’s the time! Click the red button below to grab your spot.

Questions? Click here to ask me.

Until next week!

Rebecca*