How to help your loved ones let go

Since I started doing this work as a psychic medium, I’ve become someone that my friends and family have reached out to for advice on dying.

Specifically on how to help loved ones transition.

I will tell you that I am by no means an expert.

My mother and her partner worked in hospice for years and they have loads of expertise, knowledge, and wisdom on how souls transition.

Psychologists who specialize in grief counseling may have another view on what helps a human have a dignified death.

Death doulas may have another opinion.

Religious leaders yet another.

In admitting that I am no expert, I will also say that I believe I have something to contribute to this conversation. 

Here’s what I know about how to help your loved ones let go of this world and be born into the other side.

When your loved one is moving towards transition, they may begin to be visited by loved ones in their dreams.

At the moment of transition, your loved one will be met by one of their loved ones: a partner, a sibling, a spouse, a dear friend, someone trusted, who will help guide them to the other side.

Sometimes multiple loved ones will appear to help your loved one to feel safe to transition out of the world of physical form into the world of thought.

Even if they are alone on the physical side when they pass, they are not alone on the spirit side.

If you have a loved one who is suffering but seems like they can’t let go of this world, here’s what I recommend.

Get yourself into a quiet place. You don’t need to be in the physical presence of your loved one and it’s often better if you’re alone.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a place that makes you feel calm, grounded, peaceful, and safe.

This place can be real or imaginary.

Take a few slow, deep breaths.

When you’re ready, invite your loved one to join you in that place.

See them at their level best.

At this point, you can ask some questions such as:
 

• Are you feeling afraid to die?

• Is there something I can do to help make your transition easier?

• Do you trust that we’re all going to be okay after you transition?

After asking these questions, you’ll get a pretty good idea of where they’re feeling like they can’t let go.

If they’re afraid to die, you can reassure them that the other side has none of the hardship or heaviness of this world.

It’s no longer cold or painful or wearisome or stressful. As they transition they will begin to feel warm and light and like they are finally home.

If they’re concerned about leaving a spouse or a child or a pet or someone else they hold dear, you can reassure them that will be looked after (by you or someone else) and that they no longer need to be responsible for that person.

If there’s something left unfinished, ask them what it is. Is there something they need to say or do?

Again, if they are close to transitioning they may not be able to do these things physically, but on this deeper level they can communicate it to you, and then you can help their souls be at peace before moving on.

Above all else, reassure your loved one.

Tell them that death is a gateway into a new phase of life.

Help them to feel safe.
Help them to feel seen.
Help them to feel loved.

Also—give them loving permission to move on.

Sometimes all a soul needs in order to move from the physical world to the spirit world is for someone to say“It’s okay… we’ll be okay… go… we love you.”

When you feel like you the conversation is complete, say goodbye to your loved one and let them leave the peaceful place.

Then take a few deep breaths and, when you’re ready, open your eyes.

You can repeat this process as often as you feel necessary.

I know this can be a lot.

Releasing your loved ones to the other side is an act of deep love and care.

It requires courage, and you are courageous.

At some point you’ll know that they’re holding on and it’s time to help them—that’s when I would encourage you to step in and try this soul level conversation.

If you have any questions about this process, please email me.

So many of our loved ones are transitioning right now from so many different causes.

I’d love to support you in whatever way I can.

With big love,
Rebecca*

PS: Please say a prayer for my grandfather today. We feel like he'll be transitioning soon. It's a strange, sad, waiting time and not at all what I expected in terms of saying goodbye to him. Telling you all of this gives me some comfort. Thank you for reading. <3 <3 <3