Don’t worry. You’re not the only one falling apart.

Well.

It’s starting to happen.

I’m seeing it in social media posts.

I’m hearing it from friends.

I’m experiencing it myself.

People are starting to fall apart in a way that we haven’t fallen apart since we started lockdown.

And when I say fall apart I mean emotionally crumble in ways that many high-functioning adults are not accustomed to.

We can’t remember what we were saying and we were JUST saying something… “Gosh... what was I saying?”

The clean laundry gets folded and then turns into a convenient nap landing pad on the couch.

The dishes… good grief, the DISHES.

WHERE DO THEY KEEP COMING FROM?

And then there’s the unprovoked, relatively out-of-nowhere bouts of crying.

Crying about what?

Nothing.

Everything.

Specific things.

Perhaps we're crying out of exhaustion.

(because we are all perpetually exhausted — even with the naps)

And the crying is partially so hard because you can’t use your finger to trace it back to any one thing and say, “Oh! That’s why I'm crying.”

Because nothing makes sense.

Even the crying doesn’t make sense when it happens.

It just… happens.

Very much like a deluge of rain on a sunny day.

It’s disorienting.

It comes out of nowhere.

And it’s a LOT.

You would think that staying home would be fairly simple on the mind, but it’s also confusing.

It does not compute.

I’ve spent days with my brain whirring like an overheated PC.

You know that moment when the fan kicks on and you think, “Uh oh… that doesn’t sound good.”

That’s me and my brain every day.

Also —

Our need for social interaction is making even the most disciplined cell phone owner into a social media addict.

Perhaps this IS the zombie apocalypse and WE are the zombies? (from too much screen use?)

I certainly am staring off like a zombie these days.

I want to say nothing more today other than it’s okay to fall apart.

We're all falling apart to a certain degree.

No one is immune.

Falling apart may be what we all have to do to get through this.

We may need to fall all the way apart.

How do we do that?

Well, consider that the feelings and thoughts and waves of emotions are cycling through our minds and heart faster than normal right now.

The key is to feel them all as they come.

Don’t try to stop the ocean wave.

Let it come crashing and then watch it roll out again.

This will be the only way through, loves.

I feel like this will be the only way through.

So tell me.

Are you getting caught in the waves?

Is it hard to think? To function?

Tell me about it.

There is something healing about sharing what’s happening and knowing that someone is there to witness it.

I’m here for it.

Sending permission to fall all the way apart,

Rebecca*