The exact steps you need to DIY your healing

Y’allllllll.

This quarantine is working on us like water wearing on a rock.

Am I right?

All KINDS of stuff is starting to bubble up.

Is my relationship working?

Is my career right?

Am I living in the right city?

Am I headed in the right direction?

And then there’s all the stuff that we are accustomed to shutting out with our daily life routines.

Our busy-ness is a coping mechanism that looks a lot like being an engaged, productive member of society.

In fact, it’s an EXPECTATION (and least in the United States) that we all keep doing, doing, doing and really don’t take much time to just BE.

And then Covid-19 rocked our lives and suddenly, we’re faced with ourselves.

AND BOY.

THAT’S ALWAYS FUN.

Now, maybe you’re like me.

I am a big fan of myself.

Not in an egotistical way, but in a “Hey… I like myself. I enjoy my own company. I think I have a pretty cool, albeit weird, mind. And being WITH myself - at this point in my life — is mostly — lovely.”

But it wasn’t always that way.

There have been many, MANY times when I couldn’t get away from myself.

Times when I was sick.

Times when I was lonely.

Times when I was grieving.

Times when I was feeling needy and desperate and isolated.

Times when I was feeling overcome with uncertainty and fear.

Quarantine, for many people has been a rather unappetizing smorgasbord of all of these emotions, plus some others.

And we’ve been faced with this emotional smorgasbord daily WHILE trying to work, navigate unemployment, teach/entertain/endure children, manage financial crises, do constant check-in calls and texts and video chats with friends and family, maintain our romantic relationships and/or try not to freak out from utter loneliness.

To say we’ve all been in overwhelm would be an understatement.

And then add in all KINDS of other issues:

• Fear of being trapped

• Fear of germs

• Fear of illness

• Fear of dying

• Fear of a loved one dying

• Ongoing political strife

• Lack of control

• Not enough alone time

• Not enough social time

• Issues with authority (maybe not our own, but others)

Add in all the memories that are even ten percent close to some aspect of the trauma we’ve all been living in and you can get thrown right back into that distressing memory too.

JEESH!

Therapists often talk about being vocal and taking actions to get your needs met.

However.

There are some needs that simply cannot be met right now because meeting them would be dangerous.

It’s an uncomfortable rock and a hard place to be sitting in between: having unmet needs on one side and then on the other side, the risk of contracting Covid-19.

So those needs are just still sitting there.

Unmet.

And that brings up even MORE stuff.

THIS IS SO HARD Y’ALL.

I know we’ve been in quarantine for some time and I know some places are opening up, but that just brings in a whole host of other things to content with.

Why is this all so hard and painful?

Well there are some obvious reasons that you’re all aware of: humans are social creatures, humans need touch, dealing with an invisible entity like a virus can put you constantly on edge, especially when not everyone in the country is on the same page… which is also stressful.

We know these things.

The other reasons why quarantine is so tough is because all this time and all this trauma shines a light on other issues from our past that have gone unresolved.

I talked a bit about this when I discussed memory healing.

(You can read about memory healing here.)

So…… HOW do you deal with ALL of these feelings… with all of these unresolved memories from your past?

This is a question that comes up a lot after mediumship sessions.

How do I begin this process of healing?

Where do I even begin?

I suggest you always begin with your mindset.

Figure out where you are right now then decide where you want to end up.

And decide that the transformation is possible for you.

When I started my healing journey I knew a few things:

• I wanted to stop the critical voices in my head

• I wanted to stop cringing at certain memories and having to hurriedly stuff them down

• I wanted to be more in touch with myself and what I wanted from my life

• I wanted to be more peaceful

• I wanted to stop getting physically sick all the time

• I wanted to have a more positive outlook on life

• I wanted to start living a life that felt like my OWN

I knew that I was sitting under a mound of emotional STUFF that was keeping me stuck.

I knew it was making me physically ill.

I knew it was stressing me out.

I knew it was straining my relationships.

I knew it was keeping me from living the life I really wanted to live.

Once I got really clear with myself where I wanted to go, I started to take inventory of all the tough experiences I’d lived through in my life.

You don’t have an incredibly traumatic and distressing childhood to have life wounds.

We all have them.

Memories of feeling embarrassed.

Feeling guilty.

Feeling regret.

Feeling shock.

Feeling abandoned.

Feeling frightened.

Feeling like we acted like a jerk.

Feeling like someone else acted like a jerk towards us.

These are all emotional memories that weigh heavily on the nervous system and affect our daily lives, ESPECIALLY right now.

Ok.

After you’ve made an inventory of all the tough memories you can think of, and you’ve written them all down, it’s time to figure out the mindsets you’re holding that are keeping you in a state of suffering.

Some examples:

• I always get sick 2 times a year.

• People aren’t trustworthy.

• I have the worst luck.

• No one understands me.

• I’m so awkward.

• I’m never going to get into a good relationship.

• I’m terrible with money.

• I’m broken.

I could go on and on.

It’s important to know that your list is specific to you and your experiences. (Unless you, too, dropped your left shoe in the toilet in high school and had to walk around with one tap shoe and one regular shoe for the rest of the school day… going silent, tap, silent, tap, as you walked through the halls…… )

Eh hem.

Like I said, memories are specific to you and your weirdo-ness.

Next, you work through these experiences one by one.

You can do this process with a therapist, you can journal it out, or you can just start by being aware of your specific coping systems which are usually related to all this pain. You can do any combination of the three.

I am partial to energy work because it was energy work that completely turned my health and life around. And because it makes LASTING changes.

If you would like to start energy work with me, email me and we can get you going on the path to healing.

You need to give yourself time to work through this stuff y’all.

But it doesn’t have to take forever either.

If you took a year to really focus, you could work through the big chunk of stuff and then create a maintenance plan to work through the lesser issues bit by bit.

Whichever path you choose, THIS is how you get started.

The incredible, amazing, phenomenal thing that starts to happen as you work through all this gunk?

Your authentic self and authentic life begins to emerge.

And that’s what we’re after, isn’t it? To LIVE our most true lives while we’re here on this journey? I think yes.

Okay! Lots of info in today’s post.

Let’s recap:

1. We all have stuff. It’s affecting us more during quarantine because our usual coping systems may not be working AND new stuff is being created in this trauma state.

2. Self-healing is possible. You can start today.

3. Set up your mindset: figure out where you are now and where you want to end up.

4. Take inventory of your painful memories and limiting mindsets.

5. Address your pain one by one either with therapy or journaling or energy work, or a combination of the three.

6. Give yourself some time to work through the chunk of big issues.

7. Remember that you will always be working on yourself in little increments after the big healing is done.

8. Start living a more authentic life.

Not only does this process give you incredible emotional relief as you work through these issues one by one, but you start to see and feel real PROGRESS in areas of your life where you were previously stuck.

And that, my friends, is gold.

If you want one-on-one help with this process, email me.

In fact, I”m considering creating a program that walks you through this process.

If you’d be interested in that, let me know.

My beta tests are always at a reduced rate as I work out the kinks.

That’s all for this week!

Sending you big love and big hugs,

Rebecca*